Off season game plan—Cincinnati Bengals

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Frying Pan Sports

Off season game plan—Cincinnati Bengals

By Bill Smith

The good news for Bengal fans is that there is always hope for the future. The bad news is that the Bengals are not the best team in Ohio and may not be the best team in Cincinnati. The problem is not the Coach. Marvin Lewis is more than capable of taking a somewhat competitive team to success. The problem is that Cincy is not any where near somewhat competitive.

The joke around the NFL was the Bengals were going to be forced to go no-huddle because parole conditions for the players prevented them from being within 20 feet of another felon.

My Dad is the smartest guy I have ever known. One of the first lessons he taught me is that you never do business with a widow or an idiot son. Cincy sports fans have had personal experience with this problem with the Reds. Is the only solution to “Schott” (Marge became a verb after MLB forced her to sell) the Brown family and specifically Mikey Brown out of the league?

That might be the only ultimate solution. But there are … Read more at FryingPanSports

A few after Christmas Gifts for the NFL

Christmas Gifts for the NFL

by Bill Smith

I have some gift ideas for those of you that need to buy something for the NFL player, coach or administrator that has everything.

TO Romeo Crennel, the ex-coach of the Browns: A fire extinguisher. Given how hot your seat has been after the abysmal season you perpetrated on Browns fans, you need it. You are a nice guy but nice guys finish last. And the Tans are last after they lost to the Bagels and to Pittsburgh while Cincy beat KC. By the way, your back pants pocket is currently smoldering.

Romeo Crennel 2008

TO Phil Savage, GM of the Browns: An email editing program to delete expletives from your responses to fans and a financial advisor to help you invest your contract payoff. You really need to get a grip. The fans are your customers and we pay your salary. Before you write another email that would choke a dock worker, take a moment to appreciate your life. You may not have any job for quite awhile so spend your money wisely.

TO Mike Brown, owner of the Cincinnati Bagels: A long distance calling card. Face it, you are going to need … Read more at FryingPanSports

God must hate the Cleveland Browns

God Hates the Browns

by Bill Smith

Our Minister once gave a sermon titled “God and the Cleveland Browns.” That was back in the days when the Browns were “the Greatest Show in Football.” That is not the case any more. As a long time Browns fan (53 years) I have come to the conclusion that God hates the Browns.

Josh Cribs Cleveland Pittsburg 2008

I don’t arrive at this opinion easily or without significant thought. After considering the possible explanations for the last 15 years, I can not find any other alternative that can explain the suffering. I remain open for suggestions. Let’s look at the facts.

The Browns under Art “I have no money to fix the team” Muddle fire Marty Schottenheimer (46-31-1) in 1988 because he can’t get the team into the Superbowl. Great move! Losing in the AFC Championship game is no longer a problem. Instead, we never sniff the Superbowl again. In 1995, Muddle hires Bill “I am the smartest guy in the country” Belly-chuck. Belly-chuck had never been a head coach but is the kind of guy the city will grow to love—not so much. The team under Belly-chuck (I just love typing his name) is so bad … Read more at FryingPanSports