Sometimes, it has to be said, organizing team raiding sessions in World of Warcraft doesn’t really fulfill all your social needs. You love the taste of victory, or crushing an enemy and leading your comrades to triumph, but it somehow seems hollow when, afterwards, you’re still sat at your laptop with only half a bag of Doritos and a 2 liter bottle of Mountain Due to celebrate.
If you want to combine that feeling of victory and comradeship with being in the same room as other people, it may be that starting your own sports team is the thing for you. Starting a sports team, whether it’s for a five-a-side football tournament, beach volleyball, bowling or even motorsports is a great way to spend some time with your mates and get a bit of exercise.
To do this, however, you must first complete several important steps, and they will all be (slightly) harder than the montage in that underdog sports movie you love so much.
Step One: Assemble the guys!
You can recruit players from a bunch of different places. Once you’ve press ganged everyone you can from you World of Warcraft guild and your drinking buddies at the bar, you can also recruit players at the local park and stick posters up at the leisure center, town hall and local businesses for tryouts.
It’s not essential, but if you can find a once legendary player who’s since fallen on hard times and hit the drink, for whom this team might be his one last shot at redemption, then that’s definitely a plus.
Step Two: Financing!
Yes, the chances are everyone will have to pay money to join your team of sports legends. Most leagues will charge you an entry fee to take party. You’ll also need to buy equipment and uniforms. Once you’ve worked this out it will be the last bit of maths you have to do for this project, I swear.
Step Three: Pick a name!
The name of your team should strike fear into the hearts of your enemies, while inspiring your supporters. It will be a name whispered down the generations as people tell the tales of your team’s mighty exploits. So try not to make it too silly. When it comes to picking a team name, there are two main schools of thought.
School one is to think of an animal, then prefix that animal’s name with the verb “Fighting”. The Fighting Badgers, the Fighting Iguanas, the Fighting Anteaters- it works for literally anything.
School two is to take the name of the place you live in, and suffix a noun verb that sounds vaguely threatening. The Cambridge Destroyers, the Leicestershire Usurpers, the Southampton Shouters. I’m sure your suggestions will be better than mine.
Step Four: Get a uniform!
The uniform is what brings you together, turning you from a ragtag bunch of misfits into an actual team. Think what the Storm Troopers in Star Wars would be without their distinctive white robot suits, or what Hipsters would be without their tiny mustaches and thick rimmed spectacles.
You needn’t go quite as extreme as full body armor or irritating facial hair however. It’s surprisingly cheap to get specially embroidered polo shirts, for instance. To bring your team colors to perfection, however, you’ll need a team logo. A symbol that describes everything your team is and aspires to be. If you went with School One of team name, this will be extremely easy. Just a picture of your animal of choice, fighting or looking like it’s about to fight. At this point, it’s a good idea to find your friend who’s a graphic designer and get them to help you out.
Step Five: Train!
This is the really hard bit. Now that you’ve assembled your team, picked an intimidating name and designed some really stylish uniforms, you’re actually going to have to get good at the sport you’ve chosen to play. So, good luck with that!
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