Christmas gifts for NFL Teams.
Browns: I give the Browns a head coach that will let Weeden be Weeden. Shurmur is way too much of a control freak to allow his QB to even audible out of a bad play. He has to go.
Steelers: The team needs an offensive line. Being a Browns fan I give them a subscription to Direct TV so the players can watch the playoffs on the team set.
Bengals: I give them a steep decline of both the Steelers and Ravens. That not only helps them but helps the Browns as well.
Ravens: I wish the Ratbirds nothing but bad luck forever. They stole the Browns and deserve to suffer for it. I also wish that former Browns owner Art Muddle never gets elected to the HOF. He deserves to be elected to the hall of infamy.
Chiefs: The team needs a QB. But the 2013 draft class is not stocked with sure fire QB prospects. They “won” the first overall draft pick by being a team that could not beat the Sisters of Perpetual Misery. That must be the school where they got both QBs Cassel and Quinn.
Chargers: I give them a coach that has a sense of urgency to win and a new GM as well. HC Norv Turner has sleepwalked through several seasons. It is WAY past time for him to go. GM Smith has not chosen wisely.
Broncos: For a Browns fan, wishing anything good to Denver is hard. But I would like to see Payton Manning get a 2nd Super Bowl win. He deserves it. If not, he should get the football version of the movie Career Achievement Award. He is a sure first ballot HOF selectee.
Colts: My wish for the Colts is that coach Chuck Pagano recovers fully from his illness. He deserves to and the team under interim HC Bruce Arians has earned a playoff spot. Arians deserves to be a candidate for a HC job based not only on his job as interim but also his offensive expertise.
Texans: I wish the Texans a heart. To lose games at home like they have is inexcusable. They have a very solid QB and great RB so how do they score 6 points last week against the Vikes.
Titans: A do-over on the decision to let a great HC go. Letting HC Fisher go was stupid. They have a good running back in Johnson. His only problem is being slowed down by a over-stuffed wallet. QB Locker needs better coaching to get up to an NFL starting level.
Pats: My wish for the Pats is early retirement of QB Brady. I want to see if Brady made Belichick or if it was the other way around. My guess is Billy B will not find it as easy to win without a HOF QB.
Bills: The Bills are in need of just about everything. But most of all they need a QB. Fitzpatrick has the head but not the physical skills to be successful.
Jets: For them I wish a muzzle. If I never heard the word Jets again it would be WAY too soon.
Giants: I wish the Giants better health in 2013. The team always seems to be decimated by injuries. The question that keeps recurring is that the result of bad luck or an outcome of practice techniques.
Cowboys: I wish them and Jerry Jones a nice off season. It will be longer because JJ can’t select the right people in the draft and will not give up his role as GM.
Eagles: My gift to them is the luck to find a coach good enough to last 14 years like Reid. That will not be an easy job. I also wish coach Reid the peace he deserves. He has suffered a lot over the last few years. He is a good man and deserves better.
Redskins: I wish the Skins a healthy RG3 for the future. He is fun to watch and I hope he can continue to play for a long time.
Bears: I wish the team and QB Cutler better OL play. He has been beaten badly game after game. He deserves better protection.
Lions: I wish the Lions a brain. They are way too talented to continue to play stupid football.
Vikes: This team needs a QB to take pressure off of RB Peterson. Ponder is not the answer in my opinion.
Saints: The team needs some closure on the bounty scandal. The scandal and its publicity have destroyed the 2012 season of a good team.
Bucs: I wish QB Freeman some WRs that can catch. With an outstanding young RB like Martin, some quality receivers would really help the O.
Cards: I give coach Whisenhunt a job with a better GM than he has at Arizona. He is a great coach but GM Graves couldn’t find a QB in the Football Hall of Fame. My first choice for the Browns would be Whisenhunt.
49ers: I wish them luck with QB Kaepernick. He is solid and will develop into a top 5 QB. Like RG3 he is fun to watch as well.
Seahawks: They already got their gift in 3rd round QB Russell Wilson. As I said in my pre-draft radio shows he was the 3rd best QB in the 2012 draft and will be a champion before he is done.
That’s what I think. Tell me what you think.
Bill Smith is a former coach of several semi-pro teams, has officiated both football and basketball, done color on radio for college football and basketball and has scouted talent. He edits http://fryingpansports.com. He has also published several novels on and a non-fiction work at http://www.merriam-press.com/.
He edits http://fryingpanpolitics.org/.