“Hi I am Roger Goodell and welcome to my NFL Wheel of Misfortune show! Johnny who is our first victim?”
“Well Roger, it is Arizona Cardinal linebacker Daryl Washington come on down! Daryl has been a bad boy that has been caught taking PED’s for a third time.”
“Well Daryl spin the NFL Wheel of Misfortune!”
“Too bad for you Daryl you get indefinite suspension. That is the worst penalty we give out. It means you have to sit out for 12 months from today and petition for reinstatement. Then Daryl, if I feel like it and you have been a very good boy I might let you back in the league. Of course I might not let you back in too if I am having a bad day. Daryl would you like to appeal the penalty and spin again?”
“Too bad Daryl. I decided your appeal is denied and you get the indefinite suspension. All in all Daryl that will cost you at least 3 million dollars. Please take our home version of the game as a cancellation prize. Johnny who is our next victim?”
“Well Roger, we welcome Brandon Browner cornerback for the Pats. Brandon come on down!”
“OK Brandon, spin the NFL Wheel of Misfortune! Brandon has been a bad boy as well taking things that are on our banned list.”
“Well Brandon you got lucky. You got just a 4 game suspension! Congratulations. Johnny who is our next victim?”
“Ray Rice, running back of the Baltimore Ravens, come on down! Ray was caught on video knocking his girl friend out cold in a casino and dragging her unconscious out of an elevator.”
“Ray welcome of NFL Wheel of Misfortune. Spin the wheel.”
“Ray, you win the game with just a 2 game suspension! The down side is you will have to marry her to keep her from testifying against you. In the long run that will probably cost you more than a long suspension. You can appeal and spin again if you want.”
“No, that is fine I’ll take it.”
“OK Johnny who is next?”
“Josh Gordon wide receiver for the Browns come on down! Josh has been a good boy that has passed 70 tests but he was a bit over the limit on a test for weed. Josh says it was because he was around people smoking weed.”
“Welcome Josh. Spin the wheel!”
“Sorry Josh but it looks like the wheel still spinning. I also have a shout out to a shut in player Jags wide receiver Justin Blackmon. Justin, we are sending you a home version of our game. Well folks, that is going to do it for this edition of Roger Goodell’s NFL Wheel of Misfortune. But tune in soon here on the NFL Channel to find out how Josh Gordon does and the penalty for Colts owner Robert Irsay.”
“Roger Goodell’s NFL Wheel of Misfortune is a production of Roger Goodell and the NFL.”
That is what I think. Tell us what you think by commenting here or tweeting me @NNRonDSN.
NOTE: Check out the live News, Notes and Rumors show on Monday, Wednesday and Thursday at 6 PM Eastern on http://www.justin.tv/papaburl or http://fryingpansports.com/radio-show/. On Samantha Bunten of NBC Sports, former NFL scout Kelron Sykes and I talk football with just a little Indians and Cavs thrown in. The archive is available on http://fryingpansports.com/radio-show/. Please join us.
Bill Smith is a former coach of several semi-pro teams, has officiated both football and basketball, done color on radio for college football and basketball and has scouted talent. He edits http://fryingpansports.com. He has also published several novels on http://www.eBooks-Library.com/Contemporary/ and a non-fiction work at http://www.merriam-press.com/. Follow him on twitter @NNRonDSN to get the schedule of Special News, Notes and Rumors broadcasts. You can hear the previous shows on http://fryingpansports.com/radio-show/ and the live show Mondays at 6 PM Eastern time on http://www.justin.tv/papaburl.
He also edits http://fryingpanpolitics.org/.
To keep up with the News, Notes & Rumors podcasts, follow me on twitter @NNRonDSN.